[自爆式求職]低級CV錯誤實錄──九唔搭八篇

上期講咗CV寫錯字有幾樣衰,但唔好以為你用咗Word嘅spell check,見佢冇用紅線underline你啲字就好安全,因為佢唔識detect你啲九唔搭八嘅低能錯誤!大家send CV同cover letter出去之前,唔該搵個識英文又做過幾年嘢嘅親友望望先啦!


1. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
(好積極,學黎天王話齋:你贏不了,但也不能輸到底。)

2. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs… Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
(就好似一段感情咁,要決心忘記,我便記不起~)


3. “Cashier - Successfully handled money. Received money from customers. And successfully issued the correct amount of change back to the customers.”
(我覺得呢段工作經驗好勵志。)

低級CV錯誤實錄

(Image by Seattle Municipal Archives via flickr)


4. “Availability: i have no job at the moment”
(啲怨氣喺mon度滲出嚟sosad)


5. “Cover letter: Dear Sir or Madman.”
(好在佢係寫「or」啫!男HR可自行對號入座。)

 
6. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
(我諗佢應該係想講「running」。)

低級CV錯誤實錄


7. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
(呢啲咪係霸氣囉,香港奴工學嘢啦。)


8. Education: “My GPA at night is 3.0.”
(咁你上午個GPA有幾多?註:其實佢應該係想講night school。)


9. Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
(但係先生你好似連個mon都冇睇喎。)


10. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”

(網絡圖片)


11. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
(呢排興返外星人襲地球,其實呢個技能都好重要㗎。)


12. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
(咦陳生,咁啱我哋公司都有呢幾個人喎。)


13. References: “Ask and ye shall receive.”
(O grant us thy references.)


 14. “I have had experience in logic programming, basic software creation, bear wrestling, and am fluent in C++.”
(哦哦……吓?)

低級CV錯誤實錄


15. Special skills: “good with money, good working alone.” Reason for leaving last job: “fired for stealing.”
(咁佢又冇講錯。)

 

資料來源:
Resume Hell
Humor Matters: “Resume Bloopers
Resumania

Reddit: “what is the most unique/outrageous thing someone has put on a resume?

 

延伸閱讀:

[自爆式求職]低級CV錯誤實錄──寫錯字篇

英語小教室 – 蛇王

Make a Lasting Impression with your Cover Letter

 

此文章由jobsDB HK撰寫/編輯。如欲刊登於其他網站或刊物,請電郵至Editor@jobsDB.com與我們聯絡。如有發現侵犯版權,jobsDB保留採取法律行動的權利。

 

無時間搵工但又想工搵你? 立即建立你的jobsDB檔案

無時間搵工但又想工搵你? 立即更新你的jobsDB檔案